Kindly post my story anonymously.
I was married for seven years to the love of my life. I trusted and loved him with my whole heart. Our parents were friends and I have known him for many years. I got married as a virgin and I assumed that will make my husband happy.
Everything seemed good from the beginning when we got married and then we started trying to have kids. Six months into marriage, he began demanding I get pregnant. I wanted children too. I was not getting pregnant and he was putting so much pressure on me.
One year after marriage, I suggested we both see a doctor and he snapped. He said I was barren and he regretted marrying me. I was shocked and could not understand why he would say that. He refused to visit the hospital and said I should go and fix my barrenness.
I went to the hospital and I started with a blood test which was good. Then I was scheduled for follicle stimulating hormones (FSH) during my monthly cycle. I had Hysterosalpingogram(HSG) and Hysteroscopy and I was certified good. The doctor advised I invited my husband and when I told him, he beat me blue-black. My eyes were swollen for days and I had lost a tooth.
He started beating me up constantly, I was shocked at how a once loving man could change so much. I prayed and fasted but he didn’t change. Marriage was hell on earth, there was no love or affection. There was no sexual contact for five years before I left him. I left him because how will I bear children if he would not even be intimate with me.
It has been three years and two months after my marriage and I cannot bring myself to be with another man. I have had several proposals from men but I find myself resisting.
Much to the dismay of my family, I find it difficult to move on. I have been introduced to several men, but it is not just working. I do not create the opportunity of getting to know anyone.
My questions are:
– when is the right time to date after a failed marriage?
– is it possible to love again after a failed marriage?
– is love really worth it?
Kindly advice and encourage me. Thank you
From Sam
I am sorry to hear about all the challenges you faced. Sometimes life throws us lemons that are obviously not tasty but we have to learn to make lemonades out of them. There is no law that is cast on stone as to when you should begin dating again. It solely relies on you. You have been hurt in the past and should take as much time as you require to heal. I have had several instances where I got into another relationship in a minute, but I took my time after a broken marriage. I needed to heal and not bring any drama to my next relationship. Please engage in exciting things and make yourself happy, don’t be consumed by regret or hurt and let go of the past. Take the good out of that experience and make it a strong lesson learned.
Of course, it is possible to love again. You would be doing yourself an injustice if you shut down your heart after a bad experience. Love is such a beautiful thing if you meet the right person( I sincerely hope you will). Our experiences groom us for future encounters.
Yes and Yes….. Love is absolutely worth it. I found love and every day still feels new. It is so exciting I feel like I’m sixteen again.
Wish you luck!
